that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
