i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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