We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
