My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
