don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
