how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize