you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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