is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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