I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
