I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
