Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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