i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
