and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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