I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
