the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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