Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
