wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
