Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
