would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
