Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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