Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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