I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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