planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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