so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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