yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
