So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
