If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
