We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
two words...techno handjob
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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