we made out on top of his cat.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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