The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
