"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Found the puke drawer
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
