I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
