This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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