Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
