I wish I could teleport
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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