if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
