how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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