I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize