So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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