Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
