college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize