Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
