We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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