so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
