The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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