STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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