Well douche your snatch and let's go!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
they're like a gay fantastic four
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
