dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
