I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
