my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
