i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
