Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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