the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
