apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
