I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
