Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
