I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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