When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
