somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
