____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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